


someone could love you more

by burnwiththesun



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, protective Jonny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26708680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnwiththesun/pseuds/burnwiththesun
Summary: “You deserve better.” Jonny set a glass of water down by Kaner’s head and his hand hesitated by the counter.“Maybe I don’t. Maybe this is karma, coming back for me.” Kaner shifted, meeting Jonny’s eyes for a moment. “This might be the best life has for me.”
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Comments: 5
Kudos: 62





	1. you deserve better

**Author's Note:**

> This is a magical AU where Pat and Jonny are both gay. Jonny is single. This is a great world free of homophobia. I think that's all you need to know! ;)

“It just really sucked, I guess.” Patrick kneaded the throw pillow in his lap and picked at the stitching. 

“Well, yeah, of course.” Jonny laced his fingers together on his knees, leaning forward. “I really thought you guys were solid.” 

“I didn’t.” Pat barked out a single laugh. He set aside the throw pillow. “I knew it wasn’t perfect, knew it probably wasn’t forever. But I didn’t expect this, you know?” 

“Yeah.” Jonny rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, I don’t think anyone would.” 

“Stop fucking babying me.” Pat scrubbed his hands over his face, covering his eyes. “This is a nightmare.” 

“Here for you, you know that?” Jonny bumped his fist into the side of Patrick’s knee. “Want a drink?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Pat dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Say you’re here for me and get up and leave.” 

“Hey! I resent that.” Jonny called from the kitchen, head firmly stuck in the fridge. “Did you already drink all your beer?” 

“Nah, don’t-” Patrick cut himself off, getting up off his plushy couch. 

“It’s been a fucking hour, dude.” Jonny smirked at him across the room. “Although, you do seem incredibly sober.” 

“Yeah yeah, make jokes. Don’t have beer, you’ll have to settle for water.” At Jonny’s pointed look, Kaner jutted his chin out toward the fridge. “Water. In the door. Magical.” 

“Fucker.” Jonny turned to the cabinet, pulling out two glasses. 

“Yeah, didn’t you hear? It’s all over the papers. I hear there’s an exciting new memoir coming out all about it.” Kaner slumped onto a barstool and laid his cheek on the cool marble counter. 

“You deserve better.” Jonny set a glass of water down by Kaner’s head and his hand hesitated by the counter. 

“Maybe I don’t. Maybe this is karma, coming back for me.” Kaner shifted, meeting Jonny’s eyes for a moment. “This might be the best life has for me.” 

“Fuck off.” Jonny’s hand found its way into Kaner’s curls and Kaner’s eyes slipped closed. “You know that’s the furthest thing from the truth. And also, you need a nap.” 

“Hmm.” Kaner mumbled into the counter. Suddenly, the doorbell echoed through the room. Kaner shot up to attention, eyes darting to meet Jonny’s. “I’m not - I don’t think - I can’t - Jonny -” 

“Settle down. I’ll be right back.” Jonny left Kaner in the kitchen and checked the peephole at the door. A wry grin twisted his face and he yanked the door open. 

“Connor. What a pleasure to see you? Did you want to ask Patrick to write the forward for your book?” Jonny filled the doorway, towering over Kaner’s - well, Kaner’s ex-boyfriend. 

“Fuck off, Toews.” Connor glanced up at Jonny and tried to shoulder his way through the doorway. Jonny leaned down and his grin grew a little. 

“Is there something I can do for you?” Jonny tightened his grip on the door frame and heard a creak. Connor’s eyes flitted around Jonny for a moment. 

“Not a damn thing.” Connor pushed at Jonny’s arm for a moment. “Can I get the fuck through?” 

“No.” Jonny didn’t move.

“You’re a pain in my ass, and you know what? You always have been. Fuck you and Kaner, both. At least you have him all to your fucking self now, right?” Connor took a step back, his eyes growing wild. 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re on about, but it’s time to go.” Jonny began shutting the door, pushing Connor’s waxy fingers out of the way. 

“No, wait!” Connor screeched. 

“I am telling you that if you don’t leave right now, I am going to make you leave. Is that what you want to happen?” Connor studied Jonny’s flat, dead eyes. Jonny smirked. “That’s what I thought.” Jonny shut the door, sliding the deadbolts closed. 

“Jonny, I-” Kaner started. Jonny startled and turned around, finding Kaner standing right behind him, face pale. 

“Get your stuff. You can stay at mine until this asshole gets a fucking clue.” Jonny walked back into the kitchen and drained his glass of water. 

“I can handle him.” Kaner followed Jonny back into the kitchen. 

“I know you can. But I don’t want you to have to do it by yourself. Besides, maybe less cameras at my place.” Jonny rinsed his glass and placed it in the dishwasher. 

“Oh.” Kaner’s voice was faint. 

“Grab your phone and let’s go.” Jonny went to stand by the door, peeking out. 

“I think I want my computer stuff too. Just give me a sec.” Kaner turned and vanished into the rest of the condo, leaving Jonny to survey the state of the apartment. All in all, not terrible. 

“You ready?” Kaner poked Jonny in the shoulder. 

“Seriously? You’re bringing your pillow?” Jonny laughed, nudging Kaner back. 

~

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” Kaner studied the credits of Twilight intensely. Jonny snorted. “What?”

“I do.” Jonny shifted on the couch. 

“Well, don’t keep it to yourself for the very first time, then.” Patrick kicked at Jonny’s socked foot. 

“You pick crappy boyfriends.” Jonny leaned back, focusing on the ceiling intently. “It’s like you can’t even see anyone who might turn out to be a good person.” 

“That’s so not true!” Kaner sat up, hitting Jonny with a throw pillow. 

“Not trying to be mean. Just saying.” Jonny scooted away from Kaner, turning to meet his eyes. 

“What if the problem is really that anyone who is a good person isn’t interested in me?” Kaner’s voice was quiet as he twisted the corner of a throw pillow. 

“Oh fuck off.” Jonny turned his body completely to face Kaner. “That’s bullshit and you know it.” 

“I do?” Kaner twisted the throw pillow harder. 

“I can’t have this conversation with you right now.” Jonny studied Kaner for a moment. “Just...try, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Kaner settled back into the couch.


	2. so what are you waiting for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sorry? But like, got things to say.” Patrick fidgeted and wove his fingers together. “I, um, had a talk. With Sharpy.” 
> 
> “And that was...good?” Jonny was focused intently on Patrick’s face, but Patrick would not meet his eyes. 
> 
> “He, um, had some good points.” Patrick sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, Patrick's ex Conner isn't Conner Murphy. *rolls eyes* He's just a douchey lawyer.
> 
> This took much longer than I thought to figure out and didn't go as anticipated, but here we are! Happy endings for everyone!
> 
> Ooh also, chapter titles and fic titles come from Troye Sivan's Lost Boy.

It’s two months later when Patrick knocks on Jonny’s front door, before using his key to open it. “Jonny, your advice is crap and I need help!” Patrick surveyed the dark kitchen and living area with surprise. “Jonny?” 

“Yeah, over here.” Jonny called from the floor in front of the couch. Patrick laughed. 

“Seriously, yoga on the floor in the dark? What the fuck, dude?” Patrick left his keys and wallet on the kitchen counter before sprawling across Jonny’s couch. He studied Jonny carefully. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, it’s fucking whatever. You know, just bullshit.” Jonny scrubbed his face with his hands quickly and lifted himself off the floor. “What’s up?” 

“Yeah,” Patrick sat inanely, watching Jonny’s arms lift him from a cross legged position to the coffee table in front of him. He gulped. 

“I can’t help you with yeah, Peeks.” Jonny nudged his knee and grabbed a half-full water bottle, draining it quickly. Patrick studied him. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look quite right.” He sat up, knees fitting between Jonny’s. “You know I’m here for you too, yeah?” 

“Fucking out with it.” Jonny leaned back, away from Patrick’s searching expression. “What do you need help with?”

“Whatever.” Patrick rubbed his eyes. “You know the other day? Right after all the shit with Conner? You said I don’t try to see anyone who would be worth dating.” 

“Fucking know what I said, bud.” Jonny stood up abruptly, moving to the corner of the room and stretching his arms. 

“Well, you’re wrong.” Patrick flopped back onto the couch. 

“It took you two whole months to figure out you don’t know anyone you want to date?” Jonny snorted, moving to sit in a lounge chair across from Patrick. “I don’t see where I come into this.” 

“Fucking listen to me!” Patrick raked both hands through his hair. 

“Kaner, I am listening to you and I don’t understand what you want.” Jonny sighed. 

“I don’t know anyone who you’d think is a good person that’s interested in me!” Patrick glanced around the room, avoiding Jonny’s stare at all costs. 

“Why does it matter if I think they’re a good person?” Patrick winced at Jonny’s flat tone. 

“Well, we’re all seeing how my judgment is working out.” Patrick slumped over. “I mean, I thought - hey, he works in patent law, sounds perfect, let’s date, and then boom. My ex-boyfriend is publishing a tell-all about me that isn’t very complimentary, apparently.”

“Buddy-” 

“I fucking hate it when you call me buddy.” Patrick rocked onto his feet. “Well, not that this hasn’t been a fun, emotionally enriching experience, but-”

“Wait.” Jonny gripped his knees tightly. “I - I have a buddy. A friend, sorry! I have a friend that I could set you up with. He’s a chef and he’s cool with all the public stuff, promise. He’s been solid the whole time I’ve known him.” Patrick stared at Jonny, eyes working over his face. 

“You think that’s best?” Patrick’s voice was small and uncertain, and Jonny sighed. 

“Best is a high standard, man.” At Patrick’s peeved look, Jonny smirked. “I don’t think he’ll talk about you on the tabloid circuit?” Patrick nodded. 

“I guess that’s good enough.” 

-  
“-and the thing is, he never even seemed to think about suggesting himself. Like, could I be any more obvious about what I want?” Patrick paced his kitchen, pressing his phone into his ear harder. 

“Gee, I can’t think how asking his advice about who to date next could even be perceived as anything other than a free invitation to get up on you.” Sharpy’s voice drawled down the line, and Patrick scowled. 

“I fucking asked for his opinion? Isn’t that enough? Didn’t I say I wanted him to approve?” Patrick ranted, steps getting quicker on the hardwood floors. 

“No idea how he got any other idea.” Sharpy’s voice was interrupted by distant clinks. Patrick paused. 

“Are you eating dinner right now? I’m in the middle of a crisis and you’re eating dinner?” Patrick paused. “But I thought he liked me! All that bullshit about ‘you deserve better’ and ‘just look around’ shit! What the fuck am I supposed to think? Am I not good enough for him? What if I’m the problem? Am I doing something wrong?” Patrick came to a stop at the bar and slid onto a stool. 

“I have no idea.” Patrick frowned at the phone. It didn’t seem as if Sharpy was properly invested in this conversation, or his problems. 

“Do you seriously not care?” Patrick traced drops of water around the granite counter. 

“Peeks.” Sharpy’s voice was clear and determined. “Don’t ask me if I care. I care. But I am tired of hearing you whine at me on the phone about how Jonny doesn’t like you every day.”

“But-”

“That man has been in love with you for literal years. I don’t know of a single person who can explain what’s going on in Tazer’s fucking head, except maybe Tazer. Maybe. But the point is, if you like him, or love him, or whatever else, tell him. Use your big boy words. Have an adult conversation about it.” Sharpy drew a breath to continue. 

“You’re right.” Patrick adjusted the phone. Sharpy huffed. 

“Should’ve recorded that. You know I love you and all that shit, yeah? We’re here for you.” Sharpy sighed. “Just sort out your shit, dude.” 

“Yeah.” Patrick flexed his hand. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you later? Tell Abby and the kids I said hey.” Without waiting for a response, he ended the call. His phone began buzzing with incoming texts immediately. 

-

Patrick knocked on Jonny’s door for the second time in a day. He waited for a moment and then knocked again. Finally, Jonny opened the door. 

“Lose your key?” He motioned for Patrick to come in. “Or just enjoying making me walk all the way to the door?”

“I need to talk to you.” Patrick didn’t step inside the doorway. Jonny’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Okay, that sounds serious.” He tried to motion Patrick in again. “Are you not coming in?” 

“I need you to know some things.” Patrick kneaded his hands together uncomfortably. 

“That’s fucking great, bud, I’d love to know some things. Will you fucking come in the door to do it or are we setting up shop in the hallway?” Jonny’s hand tightened on the edge of the door. 

“Yeah, I already said that I hate it when you call me bud.” Patrick took a step inside the door. Jonny motioned to the couch, but Patrick shook his head. He sat down at the dining room table. 

“Okay, so you’re scaring me.” Jonny sat across from him, leaning on the table with both of his elbows. 

“Sorry? But like, got things to say.” Patrick fidgeted and wove his fingers together. “I, um, had a talk. With Sharpy.” 

“And that was...good?” Jonny was focused intently on Patrick’s face, but Patrick would not meet his eyes. 

“He, um, had some good points.” Patrick sighed. “I maybe need to tell you the truth about some things. But you have to promise me some things first.” 

“I don’t get to hear what you have to say first?” Jonny teased gently. At Patrick’s serious look, he sobered. “Sure, bu-Peeks. Whatever you want.” 

“Promise you won’t leave before I’m done and promise that no matter what I say, you won’t ask Stan to trade me.” Patrick finally met Jonny’s eyes. 

“You don’t want me to ask for a trade? Did you murder someone?” Jonny’s shock was evident on his face. “I can’t-”

“No, that’s not it. You can, you can do what you like. I want you to promise that you won’t ask to have me traded. To get, um, to get away from me.” Patrick’s head was bowed now, but Jonny’s response was quick. 

“I’m not asking for someone to send you away, Patrick.” Jonny folded his hands on the table. “Just tell me.”

“So, when I came earlier, I maybe didn’t actually want to get set up with your friend. I’m sure he’s nice, or whatever, but I kind of already had someone in mind.” Patrick paused, gulping quietly against something in his throat. “I was hoping that - or um, that is to say, I wanted you to suggest someone else.” Jonny made a small noise in his throat and Patrick darted a glance at him. 

“Who did you want me to suggest?” Jonny’s voice was quiet. 

“You.” Patrick never looked up to meet Jonny’s surprised gaze. “See, the thing is, I’ve always liked you, but I realized. I realized that I feel safe with you and I feel supported by you and you - you make me, make me feel happy. And I guess the thing is that I wasn’t as upset as I should’ve been when Conner and I, well, when we ended things. And-” Patrick stopped for a second and gulped back a sob. “I guess I just wasn’t as upset, because I realized that I wanted to be with you.”

“Do you-” Jonny started, his face inscrutable. 

“No, here’s the thing. It’s okay that you don’t feel that way about me, it is. I’m okay with it and I can work with you and it’ll be fine. I guess I just needed you to know? I needed to say it, I guess, it needed to be real.” Patrick let the words rush out of him, gaze firmly fixed somewhere over Jonny’s shoulder. 

“You fucker.” Jonny’s chair scraped against the floor loudly. A sob escaped Patrick before he quickly bit his lip and shook his head. He buried his face in his hands. 

“I should leave, I should, I should go. I’m sorry.” Patrick wiped at his eyes. Jonny’s hand pulled his own down and away. Jonny’s thumbs gently brushed away the tears pooling under Patrick’s eyes before he pulled him into his arms. 

“I love you.” Jonny smoothed his hand over Patrick’s hair and pulled him into his shoulder gently. “I guess I didn’t know before that you would be interested. I’m sorry and I love you. I love you.” Patrick sobbed quietly, letting the tears wet Jonny’s shirt. Jonny kissed his curls, then his temple, slowly. 

“Jonny, I-” Patrick lifted his head up to finally meet Jonny’s eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” Jonny brushed away a stray tear. 

“Yeah, but I’m all snotty.” Patrick grimaced. Jonny smiled softly. 

“I don’t really care.” Jonny kissed Patrick’s lips softly once, twice, three times. “I love you.” Another kiss punctuated his words. “I love you so much and I really would love to move to the couch.” 

“Mm and that’s the Jonny I know,” Patrick laughed softly. “I’m sorry for crying.” Jonny lifted him quickly, encouraging Patrick to wrap his legs around Jonny’s waist. “You don’t have to carry me, your back! Think about your back!” 

“Baby.” Jonny set Patrick down, letting his legs fall to the couch. “I don’t give a fuck right now.” He settled on one end of the couch and encouraged Patrick to curl up into his side. “I love you.” Patrick turned serious, lacing his own hands together and unlacing them, over and over.

“Why didn’t you say so? I come in here and ask you to tell me who to date and you want to set me up with your friend? What the actual fuck, Jonny?” Patrick leaned forward, trying to meet Jonny’s eyes. Jonny studied his feet. 

“I didn’t think you were interested in me. Or, maybe I thought that you didn’t see me that way.” Jonny sighed. “I didn’t think I was someone you could be into.” 

“Bullshit.” Patrick nudged Jonny’s shoulder. 

“What?” Jonny’s startled eyes met Patrick’s. 

“I think that’s bullshit. You didn’t try to find out if I was interested in you. If you loved me, why the hell wouldn’t you try?” Patrick turned completely on the couch to face Jonny. 

“Peeks, I’m not as brave as you are.” Jonny squeezed his hand gently. “Coming in here and telling me how you feel, without knowing how I felt? Takes fucking balls. I just - I couldn’t - I didn’t.” He squeezed Patrick’s hand again before lacing their fingers together. 

“Hm.” Patrick hummed, studying him thoughtfully. Jonny studied him back. “I want my objections noted.” 

“They’re very noted.” Jonny mumbled. 

“And I don’t want to do this again.” Patrick announced, curling back into Jonny’s side. 

“Do what, exactly?” Jonny’s voice was hesitant. “Cuddle? Declare our feelings? Let me tell you I love you? Talk?” 

“Oh for fuck’s sake. I don’t want to deal with all this angst again. I’m not going to do it again.” Patrick’s voice was direct, but his words were slowing down and his body was relaxing against Jonny’s. 

“Noted, baby.” Jonny pressed a kiss to his head. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too.” Patrick yawned. “Fall asleep watching Criminal Minds?” 

“Always.”


End file.
